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tragicomics presents:
Frequently Asked Questions

How are you?

If there was a short but accurate answer to that question, then I wouldn’t draw a weekly comic about it, would I? That’s not all I have to say about it. Isn’t it generally the case that the good times are those when you don’t think too much about how things are? This question always confuses me. When you ask a question, I think about it. That’s how my mind works, and thinking about how I am can be quite depressing, you know. So what should I say? “I felt quite okay, until you asked.” You don’t want to hear that. What’s the matter with people asking questions when they’re not prepared to hear the answers anyway.

It’s better not to think about it, but then, obviously, the most truthful answer I could give is, “how am I supposed to know?” People don’t really get it when I say that.

There was this one time when the question confused me just because even when thinking about it, I felt good right in that moment. That was so unexpected.

Why don’t you have a girlfriend? I mean, you are good looking.

First of all, what’s this talking about looks? Your looks are much less important than you think, and my looks—well if you think it was that simple, then I’m not sure how to explain it to you. Basically, just look at why you’re not going to be my girlfriend and generalise from there. Now, you may think that you can’t generalise this, but you can.

You’re good at maths. Wouldn’t you enjoy doing these calculations?

*sigh* I have specialised in dynamical systems, and I’m apparently an expert in theoretical celestial mechanics. I also studied a lot in the fields of numerics, and stochastics. Next time you try to flatter me you might want to consider that by trying to pitch sixth grade level mathematics to me the impression you give is that you not only don’t know what I do, but also have no interest in me, and no respect for my profession.

Also, I’m not even particularly good at this kind of task. Don’t you know a physicist whom you could ask? They’re generally much better with this.

What do you want?

If you mean what I would want if I could have it, but mostly repress from conciousness, because torturing myself emotionally is beyond the scope of my masochistic tendencies, then I’m unable to answer, or even realise there is an answer to this, because it’s repressed.

If you mean what, within the wide range of my real possibilities, I want, then instead of talking about it I prefer working at it right now. So the answer is, I want exactly what I do. You know, like draw comics.

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